Seeking Arrangement: The Make-a-Wish Foundation for Hot Chicks

Note: SA isn’t just for hot chicks. Dudes can use it too. And obvi you don’t need to be hot, but it helps.

Dear friends,

I haven’t forgotten to report back on my sugar sleuthing. I’m not finished with my investigation just yet. I’m taking it slow, because I’m worried about getting murdered. The sugar daddy site I’ve been exploring, Seeking Arrangement,  is largely comprised of anonymous users – AKA – potential serial killers; so, a girl can never be too careful.

In the meantime, I will guide you through SA’s website and educate you on my in-person meet-ups with one of the sugar daddies.

Where the Magic Happens

Disclaimer: I’ve been too paranoid to actually download the app (I honestly don’t know what I would do if someone saw that shit on my phone.), so  everything I’m about to write  only pertains to the desktop and mobile sites.

Let me give you a lil tour.

THE PROFILE: HOW TO BE A PRO @ BEING DEFILED

When you first sign up, you’re prompted to build a profile. There is the obligatory “About Me” section, pretty self-explanatory and basically a flashback to the MySpace days. Following the “About Me” is the “What I’m looking for” box; here, you will find a massive drop-list of all the things you could potentially want out of your arrangement. From this rather thorough selection,  you can define just what type of sugar daddy, sugar momma, or sugar baby you want. It’s interesting to note that the bottom middle of the list gives you the option to be “platonic.” Maybe everything isn’t all about sex and currency! Though, I don’t think “friends” receive “allowances.” So if you’re trying to make the big bucks, you probs still have to throw in some fucks.

In the third slot, the “Describe what I’m looking for” section, you get the chance to explain what you’re seeking in free-form. From what I’ve gathered, if you’re a 40-something-year-old Asian male, there is a 90% chance your “Describe” section is some version of: “Looking for a sweet, submissive SB.” In case you didn’t put two and two together, SB is shorthand for “sugarbaby.” And yes, I’m dead serious about these stats. Get on the site if you don’t believe me.

saaa
(FYI, this isn’t really my bio. I’m slightly more tactful than that. )

options

Note: I was pretty stoked to see SA including trans and transgender-friendly options. I thought, “Wow. Seeking Arrangement is actually kind of progressive!” But  then I  got to the next page, the “My Gift Wishlist” section . . .

WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR

With SA’s wishlist feature, you can shop around and check off any items you wish to have bought in your name. This concept seems cool, but you can only choose items from a limited selection of stores – stores that sell grossly sexist luxury items like makeup, lingerie, jewelry, and shoes. Progressive my ass.

**Any sugar baby boys out there? I’d love to know what YOUR shops are like. Yes, I’m aware I could theoretically make my own sham male account, but no, you don’t know how lazy I am.

wishlist

wishlisat

BROWS UP AS YOU BROWSE AROUND

The “Browse” feature allows you to flip through a large selection of sugar daddies and sugar mommas. There are background-verified members, featured members, and premium members. If your sugar daddy’s background is verified, his identity and claims are real; so he’s probably not a serial killer but you still can’t fully rule out sadist or rapist.

As you can see, I’ve removed everyone’s names and profile pics to up the anonymity. Typically, even without my handcrafted censorship, these guys are mostly blurry-faced anyway. #twentyonepilots

I haven’t come across too many background-verified members yet, but I did see this really hot young couple. They were looking for a sugar baby to spoil and join them in their high-end, mischievous adventures. Tbh, I thought about it, but I wasn’t that attracted to the guy.

Screenshot_20170921-192523

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

Similar to swiping right on Tinder, you can “favorite” the people you’re into on Seeking Arrangement. Even though my profile pic is an indiscernible chin paired with some lips, I’ve been favorited quite a bit. What can I say? My jawline is damn fine.

Screenshot_20170921-192947.png

YOU’VE GOT MAIL!

This is where you communicate with your prospects. Since this site is taboo and kind of shady, people tend to rely on the SA messaging system. Cheating husbands don’t give you their texting numbers! At least not before the in-person meet. My SD didn’t give me his number until after our first “date,” and I never gave him mine until the second “date.”

Check out my messages. They’re clearly way lit.

Screenshot_20170921-192923.png


My First Sugar Daddy Date: Trying Not to Get Recognized in Mountain View

If you recall my initial post on SA, “Is He (Net) Worth It?” you’ll know that when I first joined the site, I was immediately propositioned for arrangements by multiple strangers. Back at that point, I had yet not replied to any messages, because everything in my inbox was excessively pervy and/or patronizing.

About a month ago, however, I finally saw something worth responding to. A 40-year-old Asian male (one of the 10% not advertising his desire for a “sweet, submissive SB”) from the San Jose area expressed his interest in my profile. He described himself as a fun-loving foodie. I love food, and I’m easily coaxed when it comes to fine dining and nom exploration.

Foodie Frank’s (alt: Frank, Foodie, or FF) Specs:

  • Salary: $400k
  • Net worth: $1 million
  • Lover of outdoors and food

Note: Because I work in an environment where men make multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars, I was rather snobby and dismissed the daddies with salaries under $300k. If you’re making any less than that, you probably shouldn’t be spending your pennies on dames, even if they are dimes. I’ve talked to multiple women and some men on this matter. They too expressed their inclination toward choosing wealthier suitors. “I would just feel so bad taking his money. Unless, like . . . he made a lot . . .” So conscientious!

Now, how did my fist date happen?

Frank and I did some back-and-forth through the SA messaging system, and eventually he asked if I wanted to grab a drink. I just so happened to be staying at a friend’s place near San Jose that night. I agreed to meet in-between our places. We settled on a boujee wine spot in downtown Mountain View.

Although FF’s avatar was a generic body with a blurred-out face, when I walked in the door I immediately recognized him. He was clean-cut, mild-mannered, and actually – pretty handsome. We exchanged happy hellos and warm smiles then proceeded to hit the drink menu. I got champagne, because I’m fancy AF. He ordered wine.

We chatted vaguely about work, each equally avoiding the disclosure of anything  actually personal or revealing about our normal lives. I confided in him about my work woes. He asked, “So, would you consider yourself more of a ladder-climber or an entrepreneur?” This might sound ridiculous, but I’ve never been asked that question before, and it seriously made me realize: OMG. I’m too selfish to work for a company. I need to do my own thing, But TBD on that.

After the first round of drinks came the second. FF suggested we get some food. Like I said, I love food, and since I was on a real sugar daddy date – the epitome of treat yo’self – I went for the fanciest of cheese plates! We also ordered olives. Basic wine accessories.

Back to the dirt.

Once I got a little sloshed, I decided to ask FF some personal questions. Bearing in mind that Baby Ruth’s sugar daddy was married with a family, I wanted to know: Is this a common thing? So, I asked him flat out. “Are you married?” The answer was, “Yes.” And he wasn’t just married. He had a young daughter as well. He looked wildly disgruntled and jumped to justified his status. “My marriage is dead. We’re only together for my daughter. Can we change the subject?” Typical married guy excuse.

We chatted some more about nothing worth mentioning, or remembering for that matter – AKA I don’t remember. By my third drink, I had officially made the jump from buzzed to tipsy, bordering on drunk. FF told me about a past sugar baby he had a relationship with. Allegedly they had a great thing going, but she moved to New York. I guess that’s why he was on the prowl for a new toy.

We talked about SF life and the bay area. “I’d love to live in the city,” he sighed, “but I can’t afford it over there. Too expensive.” Now, I know everyone has their priorities, and I know living in the city as a single person is much different from living in the city as a husband and father with real financial responsibilities; however, my question is: If you have a family to support and you aren’t baller enough to live in SF, WHY would you become a “sugar daddy” and squander thousands of dollars on faux-prostitutes? #judginglikejudy

Once I had effectively scarfed down the entire cheese plate, we began to plan out our exit strategy. FYI, for being a “foodie,” he didn’t really eat much. I literally ate everything.

FF offered to drive me back to my friend’s place. I was slightly skeptical about the safety of him operating heavy machinery post-dranks, but the slizzard sister inside of me was too sloshed for sensibility. Plus, the cheapskate devil on my shoulder kept telling me to save $4 and skip out on the Uber. Shoulder Satan was very convincing. #nottodaysatan

The journey back to my friend’s cribb was basically a real world rendition of “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.” Despite the illegal U-turns, swervy speeding, and jerky stops, I arrived at my destination unscathed. On the real though, I need to be more careful about my drunken date drivers.

mrtoad.png

POST-DATE PONDERINGS, PART I

During and after the date, I kept wondering, “Could I do this dude for dough?” The answer was inconclusive. Though I’m dating these daddies for the blog, I can’t say I wouldn’t mind playing around with perks of being pampered. As I mentioned, my job situation is sketch, and I’m seeking new opportunities. Getting $3k-5k/month for being pretty doesn’t sound half bad. But then there’s that thought, “Am I one of those girls?”

Our identities are so fragile. As much as we refuse to admit it, we’re always just a hair away from shattering our perceived selves. We put too much emphasis our personality schemas. The reality is, we are fluid beings with fleeting personas. Maybe I’ve been “that girl” all along. Maybe any of you could be “that girl.” Every subtle occurrence in your life affects you more than you could ever imagine. Maybe the only reason you or I aren’t “that girl” is simply and solely because we’ve had the wrong cocktail of life experiences. #gettingexistentialwithmoxie

My Second Sugar Daddy Date: Doubling Up With Miss Ginger

Two Fridays after our initial meet, Frank the Foodie asked me to dinner. Ginger had already claimed me for the night, but I decided to go out on a limb and ask FF if he were interested in feeding two cute girls. He was.

Ginger and I finished up the last of our work then headed over to a nice spot in Palo Alto for some fine dining and expensive wining. Along the way, G and I giggled about our crazy lives. Good-looking is good living, especially if you’re a woman down to take advantage of the system.

We arrived at a beautiful brick building. FF was already waiting with a table. Once again, we greeted each other with warm smiles and happy hellos. Upon ordering, FF balled out on the appetizers and encouraged us to get whatever we wanted. My dinner was amazing. We talked about life, traveling, and work. We got the skinny on how FF go into SA. He was referred by a friend. I asked if he knew many others on the site. He did not.

Although I was actively turning down FF’s offers to order full-on bottles, just like the first time: I got slizzard. Things became sort of fuzzy after the entrees were served, but I will never forget the decadent dessert we ended the evening with.

POST-DATE PONDERINGS, PART II

As soon as we got in the car, Ginger raved about how nice, manicured, and decent-looking FF was. “The only thing I couldn’t get past was the fact that he was married!” G is way more traditional than I am. Despite being a serial monogamist in reform, I’m also a relationship skeptic. Married men hit on me all the time. Even when they don’t, their wandering eyes do not go unnoticed. Subtle creeping is real. My point? Legally and socially-constructed titles don’t hold much weight to me. I could definitely get past the ring thing. In fact, I’ve already partaken in adultery. College was a wild time. Sorry, guys. Maybe Moxie is a monster after all.

About 15 minutes into the drive, I started to feel the full effects of the alcohol. “You know what, Ginger? I could totally fuck Frank for money. He’s cool. He’s handsome. He’s chill. Maybe I can do this!” Oh, how the wine talks.

As soon as sobriety hit though, my brazen attitude had escaped me. Ooof. Could I really sleep with him? Maybe. But could I spend time with him knowing our rendezvous came with big expectations? That was the kicker.

A Most Ennui Ending

After a lot of ghosting and tons of thinking time (approximately five days), I wrote to FF, responding to his most recent text. I figured, “What if I straight up propositioned him for expectation-free cash? What could it hurt?” I told him I had thought about the whole arrangement thing. I said I’d be up for a $3k allowance but that I also didn’t feel comfortable with expectations. “To be transparent,” he replied, “I’m looking for an arrangement with intimacy. But if you’re ever down for drinks, let me know!” Damn. So close.

And that was that. At least, for now. Boys always come back. All it takes is one drunken text from either party.

Final Thoughts

I haven’t fully concluded whether or not I could truly stomach an arrangement. In all honestly, it depends on too many factors. With FF specifically? Likely not. However, this past weekend I surfed Seeking Arrangement again and actually spotted some hotties I’d totally Tinder. Conclusion? This study is far from over.

 

13 thoughts on “Seeking Arrangement: The Make-a-Wish Foundation for Hot Chicks”

  1. I loved this post – very enlightening and mind-boggling!

    Wow, I have so much to say. I am cracking up that the SA site links to your Amazon wish list. Even funnier is the shoe, jewelry, and perfume “recommendations”. OMG.

    I’m impressed you threw out a NSA proposal with FF. Look at you, asking for what you want! 🙂 Like you said, you had nothing to lose.

    I’m still not brave enough to try it. I read another blog where the writer described a couple really demeaning experiences with dates from that site. Sounds like you had a positive experience, though! (The other blogger isn’t in the bay area, though, so that probably helps….?)

    I think I’d just end up feeling icky and subserviant. 😦

    Like

    1. Yes! I’m glad you loved it, since you were anticipating the post. I would have been sad to disappoint you!

      lol I like you you said you’re not brave enough and like one hour later you already had a profile up 😛

      Just discard the guys who make you feel subservient!

      Like

      1. Yes, exactly! As I thought about it, I realized I could ask for anything I wanted. And what I want is simply for the guys to pick up the tab on the dates. Dating is expensive! LOL

        Like

  2. You keep saying you’re good-looking, and I believe you, but goshdarnit I want to see it. I want to be your disciple. But how? What does your tinder profile look like? Is it one of those profiles that look like soft-core porn, or are you drawing in men with your dazzling smile? What kind of makeup do you use? Do you dress classy, casual, hipster, goth? Athletic? Are you Asian? Blonde? Asian AND blonde? Etc.

    Also, I’m pretty sure you’re a genius.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HAHA. OMG. This made my day, and my day was already fabulous.

      Yes, please, be my disciple. My teachings will guide you through life, because as you guessed, I am in fact a genius.

      The look? I’m racially ambiguous. VERY pear-shaped. My hair is probably as big as my butt. I’m like 70% Selena Gomez, 20% Natalie Portman, and 10% Anna Kendrick. I dress hipster-casual, but sometimes I can get pretty extra and go full on Macklemore from “Thrift Shop.”

      I use minimal makeup, and I definitely don’t ho myself out on my Tinder. I have a smiling pic, an artsy pic, and a cool action shot that strategically but subtly reveals my body shape. I draw men in with my witty bio, my snazzy job title, and my award-winning smile. I keep them around with my banter, my aloof disposition, and my slick sense of humor. 😉 😉

      Thanks for stroking my already-enormous ego, bb :* :*

      XOXO
      -Moxie

      Like

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