Most of us are familiar and finally comfortable with popular modern dating apps. You’ve probably tried out a few, and they were probably whatever. What you may not be too familiar with, however, is the secret sugar society that walks among us. Wealthy men and women match with the young and beautiful, seeking all realms of relationships – from no-strings-attached to committed to purely transactional. These relationships come with a twist: bling bling and “allowances.” You get paid; they hope to get laid. But why? Are the lavish this lonely? What’s the driving force behind these sugar daddies, and WHO are they?
I Want Candy
In 2014, a couple of old college friends told me they were trying out some new sugar daddy website. Friend #1 claimed she was offered private jet getaways to foreign countries (Taken much?). And friend #2 reported receiving a few hundred dollars just for simple coffee and dinner dates. While friend #1 never actually got snaked on a plane, friend #2 went on to become a seasoned “sugar baby.” Her demographic? Men in their 20s to 60s of various ethnicities and professions, with lifestyles ranging from wealthy to filthy rich. When I first heard of this circus, I was in the thick of my committed relationship; so the whole idea seemed completely insane and out of my reality.
But flash forward to early 2017:
I hit singles’ scene and crash at my black-belt sugar-baby-friend’s pad.
Having just left my suburban boyfriend behind, I needed somewhere to stay in the South Bay. I was done commuting and ready to be near work. My friend, let’s call her – “Baby Ruth,” was posted up in San Jose. She offered me her air mattress.
Since we had last met in 2015 (one year into her membership with Seeking Arrangment), Baby Ruth was still on her sugar baby grind. Over the course of two years, she had built relationships with multiple daddies all while keeping her friends, family, and boyfriend (Yeah, I know.) completely in the dark. BbR told me about her most recent of trysts. She was seeing a foreign family man. He was from India – a husband and a father. His family didn’t know and likely never will. According to BbR, “family man” was meek, respectful, and understanding; he never pressured her to do anything sexual. Though there was definitely some Bill & Monica going down, she technically never slept with him. And while she had in fact slept with others, each of her relationships were different. Some were simply awkward transactions, but others involved real feelings. Unfortunately, the ones with feelings never quite worked out.