The Truth About Tech

When I first got the idea to create Suddenly Single, I snooped the web to see if a similar concept existed. Since people around me regularly complain and joke about the dating scene in SF/Silicon Valley, I was expecting to see some juicy articles.

I was disappointed.

If you’re looking for personal accounts, there aren’t many. While women have written about their general experiences, they all write under their own name. There’s only so much you can say when your identity is on the line.


What’s in a name?
Your LinkedIn.
Your Facebook.
Your Instagram.
Your friends.
Your family.
Your lovers.
Your career.

I was able to find some interesting stories, but they were written all the way back in 2015 and 2016. That’s like, 10 years in tech time:

(Writer from NY. Doesn’t work in tech.)

(Journalist writing about general trends, nothing specific.)

(A secondary source report.)

Can you really tell your story when you’re stuck under the microscope of social media? When your job requires you to maintain a certain level of professionalism? When we’re all scrambling to stay PC?

You can’t.

What is it ACTUALLY like to exist in the valley?

  • My friends work at places where they can get keyboards, headphones, and car chargers from vending machines.
  • I know girls who are paid $500 just to grab coffee with their sugar daddies
  • People here methodically plan out drug-binges for the weekends but parade their mindfulness on the weekdays. (If your meditation practices are guided through an iPhone app, it still counts. Right? #headspace)


There are a lot of crazy happenings out there, and not enough people on the inside are talking about it. I have tales of engineers at Google, technicians at Apple, product managers at Lyft, recruiters at Facebook, and millionaires on Tinder. Every weekend there’s something new.

Sex and the City. Samantha. “My weekends are for meeting NEW guys.”

Could I preserve my identity without backlash? Is it smart to use my own name to talk shit and blow the whistle on powerful, privileged people with more money than you can imagine? Probably not.


I am avoiding all potential relationships in order to investigate and report. I’m dating for research.

Boys tell you all the good shit on dates. This past week alone, I learned the sex habits of a well-known tech celebrity (You’ve probably heard of him.), the secret/not-so-secret drug culture within startups, bizarre ways founders source their employees, and how many women these founders/celebrities are sleeping with (Spoiler alert: It’s A LOT.).

As a recovering serial monogamist, I have to take special measures to stay detached. What special measures you ask? Dating a fuck ton of dudes. Apparently it’s fairly easy to dodge potential partnerships when you’re living like The Bachelorette.


There are many purposes to this blog: Gratuitously brandishing my narcissism (I get to talk about my sex life and pretend it’s for a greater cause.), exposing sexism in tech, exploring the boujee millennial drug culture, and revealing what successful Silicon Valley personalities are really like.

No matter how many guys I date, however, I can’t fully do this alone. I need you to tell me your stories.

Email me, betches! Tell me about your struggles as a woman in tech. Tell me about the time you did blow with your CEO. Tell me about the creepy messages the engineer on your team texts you. Tell me anything.

Gossip Girl had accomplices.
Be mine.❤️ ❤️


9 thoughts on “The Truth About Tech”

  1. I can’t wait to read these! I’m not in tech – I’m in architectural design – so I unfortunately can’t contribute.

    I have dated many techies but, being that I myself am not in tech, they haven’t shared many insider secrets/stories. I think you have to be a female techie for that to happen?

    1. Really? I’m sure you still have good stories! You don’t have to be in tech for them to talk. You just have to let them talk about work lol.

      Most of my insider deets aren’t even about tech! They’re about interesting/weird lifestyle habits.

      1. Well, I did date a guy similar to one you just talked about. He must have made big bucks but his apartment was disgusting. Super dirty bathroom dangerously low in toilet paper, no hand soap, no hand towels, no bedding on the bed, no art on the walls. I told him I’d go shopping with him to decorate but, later, decided I didn’t want to go out with him again. I couldn’t handle going to his apartment ever again.

      2. I’m noticing that barren apartments is a thing for high-power men. So weird. I’m actually starting to take note of what type of toiletries these wealthy guys use. I’m all boujee and like my shit organic/high quality from Whole Foods. Meanwhile, they’re still using Garnier and Head & Shoulders. LOL.

      3. His apartment was barren! Plus a disaster.

        Actually, his bathroom had virtually nothing in it so I couldn’t even assess toiletries. I was so desperate to wash my hands that I would have used shampoo… but he didn’t even have that! WTF

        No towels. Nothing in the shower. Barren everywhere! So weird.

      4. No! Nothing! And I think I used the last square of toilet paper and it appeared as though he didn’t have any more. OMG, it was horrible. I had to get out of there fast! It was disgusting.

  2. Grrrrrl, this is my new favorite blog. I totally relate to the “recovering serial monogamist” thing. I just started dating in SV and 3/4 of the dudes I’ve met work at Google. The 4th is an attorney for a firm that advises tech companies. Seriously, where are the non-tech guys?

    1. Hey, Miss Kitty 😀

      Thank you for the support! HA! Yes, most dudes here are tech bros. However – all hope is not lost! If you’re in SF, it’s definitely possible. I’ve met a dentist and a non-tech lawyer in an Uber. I’ve met a hot Standford Neuroscientist on an airplane. I’ve met some scrappy skater dudes at GG Park and Dolores. Lots of randos through Tinder.

      If you’re in East Bay – you have all the grad school cuties to scam on (or professors depending on your desired age group). If you’re in South Bay, you’ve got the Standford studs.

      Yeah, it’s definitely possible. You could even go to bars and restaurants to hit on the bartenders and servers. 😉 The new guy at my favorite pho spot is prettttty adorable.

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