BEDx: Things Tech Dudes Say in Bed

Welcome back to BEDx, a biweekly series featuring things tech guys have said to me on dates or in bed.

loreal youre worth it22,

No matter how high your Silicon salary is, everyone loves to save $5. 

During Phase I of my re-introduction to the single life, I eagerly hopped on the Tinder train. I had been fascinated by the idea of this dating app for a few years – as it had become a thing while I was still holed up in my former relationship. It wasn’t quite what I dreamed it would be, but there were SO MANY boys.

I started swiping through every guy from Oakland to Santa Clara.

My  first victim was a cute, 6’6″ stoner who worked at Apple HQ. At the time, I did not realize Tinder was almost exclusively made up of dudes under 5’9″ or over 6’3″; so I thought his height was interesting or whatever.

I went out with this guy three times. He was shockingly cheap. Among my friends, I’m known as the thrifty one. I’m frugal and responsible with money. If you’re cheaper than I am, you have a problem.

But it wasn’t just him.

Apparently, moneynucleosis is an epidemic in the Silicon Valley. Another guy I dated, Mr. Wrong, was making roughly $400K. Despite his lavish salary, his bed was scratchy and missing fitted sheets. His entire apartment was barren, and his bathroom was filled with products that even I  am too snobby to use. Although he had no issues throwing around plastic to get me sauced on vino, he also couldn’t help but brag about canceling his Netflix account just in time – before the free trial ended.

While it’s only natural for us to want to save our money on principle, it should NOT be a topic of conversation when you’re making a disgustingly high salary.

Engineers are the worst.

 

10 thoughts on “BEDx: Things Tech Dudes Say in Bed”

    1. Yeah. I’m not sure how much the cheapskate Apple guy made, but Mr. Wong FOR SURE makes a LOT. Why he has unfitted, scratchy sheets – I do not know. *sigh* My bathroom would be SO boujee if I had his salary. What a waste.

      1. Very interesting. I’m going to be in the market for new sheets soon, so this is stuff to consider. Plus I try to maximize comfort in my place should I have an overnight guest again. The last chick I saw, her bed was comfortable as shit. Now I’m wondering what kind of sheets she had.

      2. Ohh comfy beds are the best. It’s all the little things that subconsciously sway us to feel a certain way, so if you want your guest to feel good, make them feel good – literally.

        There are some really amazing mattress cushions you can add to your bed-improvement project.

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