0 to 100

Then:

Eight months ago I walked away from a peachy, picture-perfect relationship in order to “find myself.” My ex and I had been together for seven years and were on the verge of engagement. We lived together. We had a dog. We even started saving baby clothes. Everything seemed planned out with precision until, one day – I got an unexpected phone call. A recruiter in Silicon Valley was seeking me out for a prestigious position at a top tech company.  This opportunity was exactly what I had been dreaming of. Despite living 100+ miles away, I accepted the offer.

When I began my new job, I was suddenly surrounded by the elite working class. Every corner of campus was occupied by a new accent. I had never been exposed to so many brilliant, globally-diverse minds. My office floor alone was home to four startups acquired from countries across Europe and Asia.

Being in the Silicon Valley had a powerful impact on me. Maybe it was the surplus of tall, foreign men in leather boots or perhaps (more likely) it was the re-awakening of my inner career woman. Either way, each day I went off on my commute, I grew frantic with inner turmoil contemplating the pros and cons of staying with my ex. Was this it? Was I doomed to a lifelong dependence on Netflix and chill? Would I be having babies? Would I be arguing with his mother over what food to feed the kids?

Although every ounce of my rational mind told me to stay and take the safe route, the temptation of a new life was overwhelming and  ever increasing in power. Most of my friends thought I was “just going through a phase,” and suggested I “wait it out.” They were wrong.

Within half a year, my darling relationship had completely crumbled.  I couldn’t quell the curiosity of what things were like on the other side. I wanted material gain; I wanted sexual escapades, but most importantly: I wanted self-discovery.

After much deliberation, introspection, and self-doubt, I chose the unknown. Leaving a serious relationship for a legitimate “It’s not you. It’s me,” is wholly confusing – especially in your late twenties. You question everything about yourself. You wonder if you have an underlying personality disorder or a crippling case of commitment issues. You wonder if you’re a self-saboteur, destined to be forever alone. You ask, “What happens when I’m old?” Giving up my prospects for the future family that more than a few friends had been jealous of, gave me immense guilt. But I gave it up anyway – I gave it up on the haunting hunch that there was more for me out there. So what if I were a heartless person willing to abandon seven years of loyalty and security for selfish hypotheticals? Who cared if I no longer understood myself or my emotions? I took the plunge.

 

Now:

In the short time I’ve been single in the Silicon Valley, life has been saucy. I’ve started, ended, and re-started a myriad of trysts and imbroglios. I’ve encountered the polyamorous, the commitmentphobes, the family-freaks, the rich sociopaths, the socially awkward, the narcissists, the ghosters, the founder fuckboys, the Tinder terrorists, and the scandalous: coworker conundrums. I’ve seen a lot. I’ve been through a lot. And now it’s time to talk about it. After all of my dalliances, there is no way I could write about my affairs without:

A. Getting fired,
B. Isolating myself from friends and acquaintances,
or
C. Pissing off everyone I’ve ever dated or am currently seeing.

So, here I am, here to give you the anonymous insider scoop from a personal, unfiltered perspective.

 

Welcome to my life – a mix of Sex and the CitySilicon Valley, Gossip Girl, New Girl, and whatever happens to be playing on Lifetime.

6 thoughts on “0 to 100”

    1. Thank you so much! That means a lot. I’m just starting to get into WordPress. It’s intimidating!

      But really – I’m really excited to have found your blog. Newly single, hot mom – fantastic! I’m browsing through your stories, and I think we’re going to have a lot in common.
      Isn’t the SF dating scene crazy?

      1. Yes, it is… but you’re already ahead of the game by already having a hosted domain name. I haven’t even gotten that far!

        I love your writing style. Reading your entries reminds me of watching one of my favorite shows, Silicon Valley. LOL!

        Yes, the SF dating scene is crazy! It’s the main reason I started a blog! 😉

      2. Oh wow! That’s one of my favorite shows too! And yes, I will be writing many more Silicon Valley-esque stories 🙂

        I’ve been meaning to start this blog for months now. I had the name in mind for a while, and I finally bought the domain because I wanted to go all out/get motivated to actually do it.

        I’m so amused by the endless stories out there. There is much to write about.

      3. There is! It can get overwhelming sometimes. I, for example, have a backlog of material I just haven’t had the time to actually write about. There’s new material on an almost daily basis.

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